Where Do Motorcycles Come From?

While it may seem like they’ve been around forever, motorcycles really have only been around since the later half of the 1800s. In fact, they evolved alongside many of the mechanical advancements of that era. Their birth and evolution help tell us a little bit about the American cultural phenomenon that developed around these two-wheeled beauties.

They’re called bikes in common vernacular, and it’s true that motorcycles descended from what was called safety bicycles at the time. Their invention seems to have been something that can’t really be traced to one person or area in particular, but, rather, an idea that was popping up all over Europe somewhat simultaneously. For most of their early history, they were more like what we think of as mopeds now, complete with pedals for human powered locomotion.

In France in the 1860’s, they were driven by a steam-powered engine. Their design was that funny “velocipede” with the giant front wheel and the small back wheel. After about twenty years of experimentation with design around Europe, the fascination spread to the USA. During this time, designs began to incorporate the internal combustion engine, a new technology that was just gaining traction.

In 1896, a British company began selling motorcycles to the public, and two years later, in 1898, an American company based in Waltham, Massachusetts began doing the same. Most of the designs during this time featured an internal combustion engine incorporated into a bicycle. Many of the biggest names today in Europe and America came into being during this time period.

The bikes were utilized during World War I as a way to send messages to the front lines. Horses had previously been used to carry out this mission, but the motorized vehicle was a faster, smaller, safer mode of transport. This is when the pedals began to disappear from the designs, and the first true motorcycles appeared. They were an effective way of quickly getting from one place to another, and after the war, they continued to gain favor for these reasons. Further, they were an inexpensive way to get around, especially if you didn’t have a family you needed to tote around. Thus, the brooding, loner hero riding across the US on his bike was born.

It was after World War II that the idea of belonging to a club became really important to many riders. Through the 50s and 60s, these clubs grew in participation and cultural relevance. The image of the biker gained a permanent foothold as an American icon. By the 1970s, the clubs began lobbying for bikers’ rights. However, some of this power was lost when the RICO act targeted many “outlaw” gangs.

Today, motorcycles have spread all over the world. In the US, they’re used as a mode of transportation for city dwellers who don’t want to pay for parking, for those who want to travel cross country, and for those who love belonging to a special club. There’s no question as to the importance of these vehicles in history or in culture, and their evolution helps to tell us how this came to be.

Source by Andrew Stratton

My Husband Won’t Admit Our Marriage Is Over But He Won’t Come Home To Save Our Marriage Either

I often hear from wives who feel as if their marriage (and therefore their life) is in limbo. Often, their husband has been pulling away from them and the marriage. Sometimes, the husband has gone so far as to hint, suggest, or initiate a break or separation. The wife can assume that this means the marriage is over, but many husbands stop short at confirming this, which can be maddening for the wife.

I heard from a wife who said: “my husband moved out six months ago. When he left the house, he told me he wanted some space to rediscover himself and he promised that he would go with me to counseling. That never happened. We haven’t seen each other on any regular basis. He does regularly see the kids, but I am not included in these visits. He says that he isn’t seeing anyone else, but I am not sure if I believe him. The other day, I told him that it wasn’t fair for us to live in limbo like this. I told him to be honest with me about what is going to happen with our marriage. I looked him right in the face and said ‘tell me the truth. Is it over?’ He answered by telling me that for now, it wasn’t over. So I immediately said that if it wasn’t over, did that mean he was going to commit to our marriage. I was very disappointed when he said he could not make that commitment yet. This just doesn’t make sense to me. If he stops short of saying it’s over but won’t commit to helping me save my marriage, where does this leave me?”

I really felt for this wife because I have been there myself. When you are in this situation, you feel as if your life is on hold. You don’t want to get your hopes up only to have them slashed later. But you certainly don’t want to give up on your marriage either. So, what do you do? Well, there are a couple of things, which I’ll discuss below.

Although It May Not Feel Like It Now, It Can Be Good News (And A Positive Thing) That Your Husband Won’t Say Your Marriage Is Over: I know that his refusing to say that the marriage is over while also refusing to commit to saving it might not feel like much of a victory. But believe me, it can be. Because I hear from so many wives on my blog whose husbands are being very direct and clear that their marriage is absolutely over. In fact, these husbands often give their wives no hope whatsoever that the marriage can be saved.

So as confused and as frustrated as you might be, know that at least you’re still being given some hope. Granted, he may be sending you mixed signals and you don’t know what tomorrow brings. But he has stopped short of saying that it is totally and completely over. And in my experience and opinion, this can be very significant. As I see it, you can use that as the catalyst to move forward with a positive and hopeful attitude because this will help you no matter what tomorrow is going to bring.

Working On Yourself While Waiting For Him To Make A More Definite Decision: It’s my opinion that the worst thing that you can do right now is to pressure your husband about making a quick decision. I know that you are anxious to get some conformation and move on. But your husband has repeatedly shown you that he’s not ready to give it. If you push too hard, he may just go right ahead and say it’s over even if this is not what he really wants or how he really feels just because you didn’t give him the time he needed to come to a genuine decision. You don’t want to force him into the rushed answer which might be the very one that you do not want.

When I was going through this situation, my attitude was always that as long as he wasn’t telling me that it was over or filing for divorce, there was still a chance that he might ultimately come to the decision that saved our marriage (And ultimately, this is what happened. ) I know that you feel like you are in limbo, but while you are waiting for your husband to come to the best decision, there is nothing that says that you can’t begin to move forward in a healthy way on your own.

The wife said that her husband hadn’t make good on his promise to go to counseling, but nothing said that she could not pursue this on her own. Helping yourself will provide you with some relief. If going to counseling by yourself makes you uncomfortable, there are plenty of resources that you can try in your own home that doesn’t require you to go anywhere.

And let me tell you a secret. Often, when you begin to make improvements to yourself or within your own life, this is going to improve the way that you approach and interact with your husband, which in turn is going to improve your marriage. I know that you may be skeptical of this, but I can’t tell you how many times I have seen it work. The truth is, your husband will often notice positive changes in you and will respond accordingly in his own positive way.

In my own case, I begged and pleaded with my husband to make the decision to come home. I laid on the guilt and the pressure and still, he kept delaying any commitment or decision. In fact, the more I pushed him, the less I saw or heard from him. He was avoiding me because he didn’t like dealing with my drama. Eventually I gave up this strategy because I truly didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t until I backed off and worked on myself that he began to pursue me and this made all the difference.

Since you truly are in a position where you need have the patience to give him some space, what is the harm in trying to make the best of the situation while you are doing it, especially when the very act of this can improve your changes of saving your marriage?

Source by Leslie Cane

Why Do All Good Things Come To An End?

This is a popular “doomsday” expression which is most commonly utilized by people when they lose something that was once beneficial to them, such as material possessions, careers, or other pertinent matters.

“Why me?

But is it just you? Or is it everybody? Trust me when I say, we all struggle with adversity. Life is an ongoing torrent of ups and downs. It’s when we’re down the most though, that we feel so alone, that we feel like bad things always happen to us, that we feel we are targeted and picked on by some unseen hand that controls a destiny doomed to fail.

However this feeling has also been experienced by individuals that have gone through a period of physical and emotional abandonment from their partners during or after a relationship. As to what extent a person would agree or disagree or settle with this ‘why me’ statement depends on his or her ongoing assessment of causes, effects and viable solution methods to the problem at hand.

I would like to share my insights on this type of attitude in regards to relationships.

Whether the relationship is between a married couple, lovers or friends, there always seems to be a sub-conscious fear of the possibility of being abandoned. This abandonment not only refers to the physical aspect, but emotionally as well… Emotional abandonment can be explained as the removal of feelings and emotional support.

Looking back at a previous relationship, you wonder how did something that was so incredible, something that started out so beautifully turn out so badly after time. What happened. And if this has happened more than once to you, as it does to most people, in marches the ‘why me’ mentality, taking over your tattered psyche, taking command and beating your numb feelings into shape so you can function, teaching you to blame instead of to learn, heal and fix.

Originally, during the “honeymoon” period of a relationship, there is a tendency to put one’s best foot forward, going to a great extent to conceal the flaws in one’s personality and to avoid any anomalous behavior. Sentiments and feelings of sweetness, understanding, affection, caring and compassion are frankly shared, as the couples go through their initial phases of bedazzled bliss, oblivious to each other’s negative qualities.

However, once the novelty and excitement of those fleeting ecstatic moments’ passes and one is caught up in daily routine and responsibilities of life, reality begins to sink in for the partner. Instead of seeing the wonderful idiosyncrasies of their mate, a person becomes painfully disillusioned by his or her imperfections. The once embraced rosy picturesque dream of “Happily Ever After” is no longer possible, and that partner’s disenchantment becomes unbearable. He or she sees the disentanglement of the relationship as it slowly unravels, from the honeymoon period happiness to years of misery, emotional damage and suffering.

In my opinion, the most crucial factor to consider in a relationship is communication, but it’s not the only one. The way we relate to others can either contribute to ruining or to intensifying the partnership. I will only mention a few factors that I believe may largely affect the relationship that can help make it turn sour.

A) Lack of Communication

This is where one partner is reserved in expressing his or her emotional needs and becomes bored with the relationship or just plain stops listening. Sometimes one partner may have high expectations in the relationship, assuming that they will be met, which puts the other person in a compromising position off the bat because he or she doesn’t know what to say or how to meet those expectations since they were never made known to him or her during the course of the beginning of the relationship. So in effect, the man or woman is stressed out from the unknown imposed demands and eventually withdraws his or her own emotional support, leaving the other quite disappointed.

Then we have the person who is narcissistic; the one who believes that the world revolves only around him or her, and since the matter at hand doesn’t concern him or her, he or she becomes oblivious to his mate’s wants and needs. Eventually silence and the withdrawal of emotional support creates an invisible wall between both partners, making it difficult to have a close, intimate relationship. The longer this emotional abandonment lasts, the greater are the damaging effects which chip away at the individual’s feelings of self-worth, thus adding to that person’s insecurities.

B) Communicative Verbal Abuse and Violence

This is where the “Honeymoon Bliss” relationship turns into a “Fatal Attraction”. Negative communication is expressed through physical, emotional and verbal abuse, given with intent to rule, until the other person feels helpless and yields. The partner, by attacking the self-worth and independence of his or her mate through criticism, belittlement, embarrassment, mind games, ridicule and interrogation, maintains a sense of righteousness and strict control. This allows him or her to continue to bully the other in a harmful way, as if the other partner deserves the abuse. The victim becomes the partner’s possession, to be done with as he or she pleases. Communicative violence plays a pivotal role in the destruction of a relationship. The pattern of attack may begin with emotional and verbal abuse, but often escalates from mental pushing and shoving to an absolute, powerful expression of physical strength. For those that have the good fortune to live, battered and bruised, emotionally scarred, they undergo a shocking and disturbing future. Most victims are reluctant to speak out as they suffer their eternal shame, feeling helpless, humiliated and desperate, isolated and alone, they maintain their suffering in silence. Often, they turn to alcohol, drugs or self-mutilation, and may even contemplate suicide.

This behavior affects a person’s self-worth. And what is “Self-worth?” This is the value that one assigns to oneself. It’s also one’s favorable opinion of oneself that is not contingent on financial assets, academic achievements, status quo or physical attractiveness. It’s a moral compass point you use to navigate your life, and once it’s knocked askew, it’s hard to find your emotional bearings and to regain confidence in what you are doing and where you are going. It makes it hard to navigate your daily life, and it’s scary. Everyone is certainly worthy. It is a remarkable gift that we are born with that can’t be taken from us but can be overlooked every so often. A harmful relationship can make anyone feel that this is not true.

There is a difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem fluctuates depending on what is happening to you at the time. If you are successful or content, you feel great, proudly walking around with your chest pumped out, but if you have failed, then you feel terrible, walking around with a bowed head and droopy shoulders. In order to love others, we must accept our value and love ourselves. It doesn’t matter what we may have accomplished in life, and it doesn’t matter what others think of us, we should above all love ourselves unconditionally.

Therefore, everything that happens to us through our own emotions, actions and thoughts are of considerable importance in playing a role in the growth and development of a relationship. In plain words, we are entirely responsible for whatever we think, say and do. We can choose to be happy or desire to be miserable. And by ignoring this, we can make ourselves incapable of love, and incapable of making our partner happy.

So whenever something seems to be bothering you with respect to your partner or the relationship, discuss it until it is favorably resolved. When you make known your emotional wants and needs to your partner, try to avoid whining and self-pitying drama, because this method doesn’t improve the situation at hand. Be straightforward in your communication by explaining calmly and rationally what you feel and how you are distressed or outraged by the way the relationship seems to be going. On the other hand, you need to be responsive to your partner’s feelings. Perhaps there will be some truths about yourself that you might not want to hear. If you sincerely wish for the relationship to survive, then accept your share of the blame and don’t place it only on your mate because it’s convenient for you. It’s important to know each other’s style of communicating so that there are no misunderstandings, which, therefore, will ultimately strengthen the ongoing relationship.

If communicating directly with your partner doesn’t get you anywhere, then you may need professional help to assist you when addressing the issues at hand. This will allow you to achieve a better level of mutual understanding and communication between the both of you. One should seek treatment that focuses on the emotions, which will help reduce relationship related stress and psychological symptoms. When a person believes in their worthlessness, then they put themselves in a state of feeling helpless and are afraid.. By openly talking about the pain, hurt and emotions that have been buried deep inside, you are taking a step toward emotional healing and self-worth improvement. The process of evaluation and dealing with emotions will help you achieve that level of forgiveness of self, and will ultimately lead to forgiveness toward the partner who has hurt you. Therapy, anger management groups, and support groups, and most of all, if you are a believer, a trust in God can help alleviate chronic anger, instilling hope for a better future. Hope is a divine gift from God. As the injured party comes to terms with himself or herself and is released from negative and painful feelings, the injured partner begins to grow emotionally stronger.

Whatever pain and suffering that you may have experienced in the past belongs to the past. If it continues to exist now, it is because you keep inflicting it upon yourself repeatedly, refusing to let go of the memory. As long as you go on thinking wrongly about yourself and about life, the same difficulties will continue to harass you. The more the injured party focuses on his or her negative emotions, rehashing all past hurts, pain and feelings, especially when trust is shattered, the more likely it is to turn into an obsession, disturbing that person’s sleep and daily activities, causing adverse health conditions as well, and may cause serious problems with how they interact with people. We all know that there are things in a relationship that can be changed, but there are other things that the injured person is unable to forgive.

When it comes to having a partner who takes advantage of communicative verbal abuse and violence, which may end in tragedy, there can’t be anything good eventually coming from that relationship. If your partner does not want to admit that he or she has serious issues and needs professional help in this situation, then I strongly urge, for safety, that you disassociate yourself from the relationship, because things will get worse. If you remain in the relationship because you think you can change your abusive partner into a better human being, forget about it. It doesn’t matter how many apologies, I love you’s and crocodile tears they may shed, it’s all an act. If you believe in this fairy tale, then you are placing your life at risk The abuser will not do anything to change, or see themselves being at fault unless they truly make efforts to do so. The abuser doesn’t like this to happen because it relinquishes his or her control, which the individual needs to thrive on. It gives the abuser absolute pleasure to see you squirm. So wake up and smell the coffee, because this is as good as it will ever get. Trust me, I should know because, at one time, I was a silent victim for years, one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse at the hands of my alcoholic husband. He was my fatal attraction. It was fear that kept me in that situation, and fear that finally got me out of it. Believe me, you are not alone. Contact the Domestic Violence shelter in your area, and get them involved, they know what to do and how to get you safely away from circumstances you are in.

If you are in a relationship that is worth saving, and if both of you are willing to work at it with a genuine enthusiasm and strong commitment, then I say good luck and best of success to you.

Nonetheless, if after all efforts have been made and love is actually lost between both partners, prepare yourself emotionally and mentally for the possibility that the relationship cannot be saved and move on with your life.

So if, you’re discontented with the world you have created for yourself, then start thinking and acting in a positive way about yourself, your relationships, and all that concerns you. In doing this, you will create a new mold from which to create a new series of events that will be more to your liking and will help you in the pursuit of happiness. Amazingly, in the process, one might even meet and fall in love with someone who will help you to become more fulfilled and more deeply loved. The main challenge is overcoming the feeling that we are “at the mercy of Fate” as the saying goes, “Que sera sera…what will be will be”. This feeling clouds any possibilities for a better future. We can offset this concept by establishing an effective frame of mind. Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start again. “In order, for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you want to obtain, accept its feasibility and confidently expect it to be realized.” These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether they be your health, home, career, or relationships. By maintaining a positive mental attitude, you will enhance your thoughts and your imagination. Allowing you to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you. This will eventually allow you to turn anxiety into courage and confidence, regard to calmness, and despair to faith and hope.

So Why Do All Good Things Eventually Come To An End? I think we already know the answer to that question. Don’t we?

Some things just weren’t very good to begin with, and we need to learn from each challenge and move on.

Source by Miriam B Medina

Commercial Loan Repayment – Where Does It Come From?

Obviously from the money you make… I can hear you say. Granted, I’ll give you that, but let me raise you one. Do you budget for it? Yes, I said the “B” word. Nobody likes the “B” word when it comes to money made let alone business owners. What greater joy or feeling is there when you complete a sale and behold the money either in the cash register or bank account? Trust me, the joy of having earned money (includes passive income as well) for a product and / or service offered is pretty sweet. Then, the reality hits you… Wait a minute, I owe others before I can pay myself and truly enjoy this money. Or at least that’s the hope.

The reality of having a commercial loan from a repayment standpoint is pretty cut and dry. In addition to having to cover for everyday operating costs like utilities, taxes, and personnel from the business’s operating cash flow, you also have to concern yourself with making timely loan payments. Here’s a recommendation for “softening” yourself to this reality though: before obtaining a business loan, make sure you can afford the payments (whether monthly, quarterly, interest only, or a combination of the previous) in the worst case scenario. Similar to being overextended from a personal finance perspective (you owe more than what you can pay), there’s nothing worse than taking on business debt that you don’t have the ability to repay on time and based on the agreed upon terms. In the commercial credit world, you’re ability to repay on time and as agreed is known as CAPACITY. It’s one of the major C’s of credit.

Here’s another tip in increasing the probability of repayment of a commercial loan: understand how the loan will help your business to increase margins (Gross and Net). What I mean is that simply getting a business loan for the sake of getting one because you qualify is not the way to go. Instead, if you can not consistently obtain a greater return on the loan for the term of loan (by selling more at greater margins or even minimizing operating costs due to production efficiencies and / or economies of scale) than the rate of interest that you’re paying, don’t get more than what you can afford to repay. This also makes you aware and somewhat intentional of improving and perfecting the business’s revenue (includes sales and marketing) and operating models in order to maximize profit margins (Gross and Net).

Source by Pierre Pinkerton

Where Do Computer Viruses Come From?

Computer viruses become a threat for most computer users. But have you ever asked yourself “where do computer viruses come from“? Perhaps with this knowledge you will be able to enjoy all the benefits of your PC without becoming a virus victim.

Behind every virus is a computer programmer. They create viruses for a variety of reasons. It may be to demonstrate skill. It may be eager students seeking admiration from their fellows. But more often than not viruses are created by cyber-criminals. They are designed to steal or copy your personal data for financial gain. It may be to gain access to passwords or credit card details. It may be to use your internet connection without your knowledge for illegal purposes. Or it may just be to bombard you with spam and bogus advertisements.

So viruses can be simply annoying or they can lead to financial ruin. Either way they are something we all need to steer clear of and we can do that by knowing a little more about them.

The most common source of virus infection is of course the Internet, this will not be a surprise and it doesn’t mean that you have to stop accessing the Internet either. Most of the people who do unknowingly catch viruses from the net do so because they are click-happy. By this I mean they will click around and download anything on offer without knowing whether or not they can trust the source.

Here’s a simple tip: Before you click on a link, check your status bar (usually bottom left) and see where it points to. Also make sure you don’t install any programs unless you are confident you know what they are and where they have come from.

Email and email attachments are the second most common tool used to spread computer viruses. Email attachments must be handled with a lot of caution and you must not open any attachments that come with an email from an unknown sender. If you have a good anti virus package then you will be able to scan attachments before you view them. Make sure you do this even if it’s from a friend. They may have unknowingly forwarded a virus to you.

Another very common way in which the virus spreads is as part of a bundle with cracks and key generators. Generally these are offered on peer-to-peer networks that have illegal file-sharing programs. The victim would be lured with downloads for free software only to find they were installing a virus on their own system.

The main thing is not just having a good antivirus on your computer, it is to keep it up to date because new viruses are created all the time. Again, a good anti virus suit will update itself regularly.

Hopefully this has answered that burning question “where do computer viruses come from”? Just good anti virus software and a bit of common computer sense is all you really need to stay safe from computer viruses.

Source by Dawn Smith

The History Of Cell Phones – How Did The Cell Phone Come About?

The idea for cell phones has been around for a lot longer than the technology to provide them was. As soon as the first landlines came into use, people had the idea of improving the convenience and flexibility of this new communication medium, and of bringing it to new areas such as cars. At first, cellular phones were little more than two way portable radios, but as technology improved, the concepts behind cell phones improved rapidly.

Bell labs and Motorola were both involved in a dramatic race to see who could invent the first viable cellular phones. While Bell labs had installed innovative radio systems into police cars, these devices were far too large for anyone to carry around and were thus impractical as a truly mobile telephone. However, in 1973, Martin Cooper, a scientist working for Motorola successfully made the first ever cell phone call using a portable handset. The age of the cellular phone was at last born, and who did he call? None other than his rival at Bell Labs, Joel Engel, who had been racing with him to create the invention.

Within a couple of years, both Bell and AT&T had come up with prototypes of their own and the first trial areas were set up. Chicago and Tokyo were the first cities in the world where you could use a cell phone but their availability was extremely limited and the new phones were only available to a select number of trial customers to begin with. For example, the 1979 trial venture in Chicago distributed cell phones to just 2000 customers.

The idea caught on like wildfire. By 1987 there were over one million cell phone users in the US alone. It seemed as if everyone wanted a cell phone and the major companies involved had really hit a home run. However, there were difficulties. For example, in the US, the FCC regulates and allocates radio bandwidth for different purposes. The radio spectrum is limited and can become ‘full’, so it is necessary to control who gets use of different parts of it. The area they licensed for cellular phones, at 800 MHz was quickly crowded. However, instead of giving more, they forced the telecommunication companies to improve technology and come up with more efficient ways of utilising the bandwidth they had. By the end of the 80’s this had been achieved and the cell phone age we know at present really got underway. And the rest as they say is history.

Source by Mike Singh

My How Far We Have Come in Family Law

When I went through a family dissolution about twenty-six years ago it was a real mess. My ex was a Deputy Attorney General (PA) and I was a Family Law practitioner. We fought like arch enemies – we were. It was amazing. Just a few years before we had promised, before God, to love one until death do we part. Now here we were using every dirty trick we learned as Attorneys on each other just to gain what?

But What About the Children

Perhaps an even greater tragedy was there was an innocent child involved. The child was relegated to the status of a favorite painting. Never once did we give way to the best interests of the child. This went on for seven years. We subjected our child to a series of indignities at a very tender age of twenty-four months. Our only care was to hurt each other.

You Would Think

You would think the Attorneys would reign us in. The reality was we were an Attorney gold mine. Imagine billing at $200 an hour for two Attorneys dead set on destroying each other. No less than six Attorneys eagerly jumped into this matter just to get a piece of the pie. Looking back, it was ridiculous. We each wound up with no less than $85,000 in Attorney bills. For what? Life went on, our child became a man, and we wasted what could have been a significant contribution to his college costs.

Turning the Hands Ahead

Fast forward time to the year 2000. Now there are a number of programs dedicated to help high conflict families. Yes, there are still families like ours only now we have some new tools.

One such tool is the Court Appointed Special Advocate Program. According to the National CASA program they are; volunteers appointed by judges to watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children, to make sure they don’t get lost in the overburdened legal and social service system or languish in inappropriate group or foster homes. Volunteers stay with each case until it is closed and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home.

While CASA is not necessarily a Family Law specific program, the value of a CASA volunteer in a high conflict family, that gives little regard to the children, cannot be understated.

Another very exciting program is called Parent Coordination. According to the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, the Parent Coordination performs the following,

Parenting coordination is a child-focused alternative dispute resolution process in which a mental health or legal professional with mediation training and experience assists high conflict parents to implement their parenting plan by facilitating the resolution of their disputes in a timely manner, educating parents about children’s needs, and with prior approval of the parties and/or the court, making decisions within the scope of the court order or appointment contract.

The overall objective of parenting coordination is to assist high conflict parents to implement their parenting plan, to monitor compliance with the details of the plan, to resolve conflicts regarding their children and the parenting plan in a timely manner, and to protect and sustain safe, healthy and meaningful parent-child relationships. (AFCC, 2005)

Imagine, now the Court can appoint a trained professional, often possessing legal and/or mental health training and education, to do what Attorneys will not and Courts cannot. That is to assist the family to focus on the needs of the child. These professionals can teach parents how to make better decisions in regards to their children. They can help parents reduce the destructive conflict that can be multigenerational and can have intergenerational implications. Perhaps the greatest advantage is it reduces the financial burdens on families that are often at their financial low. Parent Coordinators can help the family move ahead when it is easy to get stuck in the cycle of vitriolic litigation.

Always a Critic

As one should expect Parent Coordination is not without critics. One article entitled, Parenting Coordination Issues – Pros and Cons. Parenting Coordination is a Bad Idea, Why: (The Liz Library, 2009), presents the most frequently raised objections. Many of the arguments in this article border on the absurd. Anyone who has experienced a family dissolution knows these assertions are without merit.

However, as an Attorney, I understand the reaction of many bar associations. It is not unlike the reaction of the National Association of Social Workers when states began to offer licenses to other types of Mental Health Providers. They are simply not comfortable with other professionals offering viable alternatives at often a lower cost.

The question remains, however, what is better for the family?

We also Have Supporters

One of the staunchest supporters of Parent Coordination is the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC). The AFCC is the premier interdisciplinary and international association of professionals dedicated to the resolution of family conflict. AFCC members are the leading practitioners, researchers, teachers and policymakers in the family court arena. AFCC members include;

Judges, Lawyers, Mediators, Court Commissioners Court Administrators

Psychologists, Researchers, Academics, Psychiatrists, Counselors, Social Workers

Custody Evaluators, Parenting Coordinators, Parent Educators

Financial Professionals

Together they write, Parenting coordination is appropriate for high conflict cases dealing with child-related issues, such as when (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, 2011);

– there is a high rate of litigation, especially concerning the implementation of a custody order or parenting plan;

– mediation has not been successful or has been deemed inappropriate;

– parents need assistance developing, modifying or implementing their parenting plan;

– parents have difficulty communicating information about their child’s welfare;

– parenting are unable to agree on substantive issues concerning their child;

– there are complex child-related or family issues that require intensive case managing; and

– parents can afford to pay for the parenting coordinator’s services or the services can be provided at no expense.

More, to insure Parent Coordination remains a viable program and to address some of the criticisms of the Parent Coordination Process, the AFCC has proposed model guidelines for Parent Coordinators. In the preamble they write.

The purpose of these Guidelines for Parenting Coordination (“Guidelines”) is to provide:

1. detailed guidelines of practice for PCs;

2. guidelines for PCs regarding their ethical obligations and conduct;

3. qualifications for PCs, including relevant education, training and experience;

4. assistance to jurisdictions that are implementing parenting coordination programs by providing guidelines of practice that they can adopt; and

5. assistance to jurisdictions, professional organizations, educational institutions and professionals in the development and implementation of parenting coordination programs.

In Conclusion

In February 2013, a man entered the New Castle County Courthouse in Delaware. There he proceeded to murder two young women and wound two Delaware Police Officers. He was ultimately killed by the Police that morning. It turns out the gunman was the father in law of one of the murdered women. They were all on the way to a Family Court proceeding.

A few years earlier, 2005, a Family Court Judge was shot and wounded in a Nevada Courthouse as he stood near an open window. The accused shooter was alleged to be a litigant before this Judge.

Again in 2005, a Judge was murdered in an Atlanta Courthouse. Perhaps most noteworthy were comments from a Georgia Attorney that said,

“You’re dealing with people who are not happy with something and have sued someone or are potentially facing jail or are fighting over custody of children, the kind of things that bring out the raw emotions that can cause problems,” (emphasis added).


“I would be surprised if a judge doing criminal cases, or family-law cases, or certain civil cases, hadn’t had somebody make a threat against them,” Judge Gayle Nachtigal, president of the American Judges Association”.

All that can be said is if these cases are producing this sort of public violence against our Judges and Police Officers, we have to acknowledge there is something fundamentally wrong in the way we are handling these matters.

These are not isolated, unusual, incidents. Rather this is a very real reality in how the system is currently addressing the reshaping of our families and the consequences thereof.

This should clearly tell us the status quo is not working. What do we have to lose by trying new approaches. Especially new approaches designed expressly for the purpose of working with high conflict families.



Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (2005) Guidelines for Parent Coordination. Retrieved from the APA Website.

Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. (2011). Understanding the Parent Coordination Process. Retrieved from Association of Family and Conciliation Courts Website.

The Liz Library. (2009). PARENTING COORDINATION issues – pros and cons . Retrieved from the Liz Library Website

Source by Ronald K. M. Williams-Garcia, JD

Help! Mr Wizard – Time for This One to Come Home

For those of you that may not remember a childhood cartoon, that yielded the statement of this article’s title, it was that of a turtle, that was always getting into trouble, and when he reached a point where he needed help, he would always beckon the call of, Mr. Wizard, to come to his rescue. Well, that is what I think is fitting for those seeking a solution to their financial desires of making money online.

Making money online is a sincere desire, for many a would be entrepreneur, and those that are trying desperately to find a doable deal, that is not being presented by a high-tech guru. You know the kind, where you either need a friend in the software industry, that knows how to set up a successful website with all the right buttons and links that guarantee success, or you fail miserably, after spending good money trying to figure out how to do it.

I’m no Mr. Wizard, but I have been selling products online for several years and I took the road of do-it-yourself, along with all the usual failures and pitfalls, but now I want to give you some insights that may help you avoid some of those time and money wasting attempts to do it the wrong way.

Making money online can be a successful venture provided you know what it takes to be successful. Learning the basics in anything you attempt is essential to a long-term success of what you decide to do or become. Finding those lessons that provide the pathway to a successful venture is often the hardest part.

Take for example; how to make 100 dollars a day, that seems to be a reasonable venture that surely has a doable blueprint. Given the vast knowledge available today online, this should be easy enough to find, or so I thought. There are so many people, that talk a good game, but very few that actually walk the walk they talk about. Learning from others is usually a good source to learn from and a much shorter path as well.

While there are numerous means of making money online and making 100 dollars a day, you need to focus on a given path and follow it, till you see it through and gain the understanding from it, so that you can apply it and pass it on to others as well. Giving back is the right thing to do. Our time on this earth is shorter than we realize and the time we spend here should be shared with our friends and family by passing on that which we have learned along the way.

If we all learn not to hoard or to be greedy, maybe we can reverse the state of our current conditions. There was a time not so long ago, where those of wealth gave back to their workers and shared in their good fortunes. In today’s world, the wealthy have become greedy and stingy, thus our economy has suffered considerably because of it.

Source by Jimmy Wilson

How Do I Get My Wife to Come Back Home?

Before you do anything to get your love back into your life, it is necessary to determine if there is still a chance for you to get back together. If you ask how do I get my wife to come back home, you must know the cause of your break up and if you still love each other.

How do I get my wife to come back home is a question many husband ask after having some serious fights. Ending a relationship is very difficult part not only to the husband and the wife but also most especially to the children. However, if you want to know the answer to the question- how do I get my wife to come back home, you must evaluate your relationship and pay attention to details.

If your wife or former wife shows jealousy, anger or other emotions, it means that you have a big chance to get her back because she still cares. Your relationship did not work out because of obvious reasons including misunderstanding and incompatibility. Even couples who are married for many years encounter problems that may end up in separation and having problems is a part of any relationship. What you need to do is to be sensitive enough to see what went wrong and to admit if ever you did something wrong.

During the separation, it is important to stay calm especially around your wife. If you are going through the divorce, the secret is to agree with whatever she says. This may sound crazy but agreeing with her is simply giving her space. If she does not want to see you, do not push. Give her space she needs and eventually, she will miss you.

Make an effort to be nice to her and avoid doing things she does not like. Most men make mistakes by doing stupid things during the separation. Some men follow their former wives around like a crazy stalker, call them in the middle of the night, and send them messages through texts and emails. No matter how much you want to communicate and patch things up with your wife, try your best to leave her alone. Begging, arguing and pleading will not help in your situation.

Another mistake most men commit is showing their women that they cannot live without them. Some men go out every night, drink with their friends and do crazy things. After your separation, it is important to keep distance. Lack of communication with her will eventually take its effect on her psychologically. Make your strategic plan in getting your wife back into your life. Separation is never an easy thing especially if you have been married for a long time. If you truly want your wife to go back into your life, you must be willing to do everything. Accepting mistakes may be difficult for men because of their ego but if you think that it is the only way to bring back your lost love, do it. Apologize sincerely and make a promise not to do it again. Be sure that you keep whatever promises you have made to avoid problems.

Source by Ivan Johnson

Every Day New Prospects Come to You Like Clockwork

It doesn’t matter how many designations you have you will go broke if you don’t have a steady stream of prospects. In this article I’m going to show you how you can get those prospects to come to you without working additional hours or making a single cold call. Getting new prospects to come to you is easy when you know how.

The biggest mistake agents and advisors make is focusing on selling insurance. Insurance is a solution for a future need. When was the last time you had a sense of urgency about making a purchase that would benefit you at some point in the future. I’m waiting. Can you think of even one occasion?

Now, in contrast, when was the last time you made a purchase because you needed the benefit your purchase provided right now? You probably made a need based immediate purchase within the last 24 hours. You probably make some sort of immediate need based purchase every single day.

Every time you buy food, fuel up your car, or make a payment to keep a roof over your head you are making a purchase based on an immediate need. Sometimes you buy based on what you want. Sometimes you buy based on what you want to avoid.

It’s no secret other than property and casualty, most insurance and financial products are not immediate needs. Because the benefits are so far removed from the point of purchase most buyers perceive insurance and investments as expenses. Worse yet, most prospects perceive insurance and investments as expenses they can live without.

But don’t let that get you down. There’s a way around this dilemma. You simply need to wrap what you can do for your clients inside the envelope of what they think they need right now. To do that you need to shift your focus to what triggers prospects to buy.

Most families in the U.S. will experience what I call a trigger event that transforms a future need into an immediate need. Some trigger events are purchase related. For example, at some point most households will: purchase a home, purchase a vacation home, purchase a second home, purchase a car, purchase a second car, contribute to a child’s higher level of education, and retire.

Those purchases trigger an immediate need for insurance and investments. An effective way to draw these new potential buyers to you is to offer them information that answers their most pressing questions or solves their biggest challenge related to their purchase. Then once the prospect asks for the information they want you have the opportunity to open a relationship and lead the prospect to the sale.

Purchases aren’t the only trigger opportunities. When prospects hit their 50th birthday, adult children are faced with parents who need assistance with daily activities, wage earners lose a job, or when a close family member or friend dies needs change. When needs change you have an opportunity to get prospects facing those challenges to contact you.

World events can also turn into triggers. When the stock market falls, gold prices plummet, energy prices soar, and the state of the economy changes you have opportunities to get prospects to come to you.

All you have to do is offer prospects what they want related to these triggers and they’ll come to you.

Source by Cheryl Clausen