I Finally Got My Separated Spouse To Try To Reconcile, But It Didn’t Work

I sometimes hear from people who are extremely upset because they are dealing with two very serious issues. The first is that they are separated but they wish that they weren’t. The second is that they had a chance to reconcile or get back together and it failed. So now, not only are they still separated, but they don’t know if they will ever get a chance to try again.

Someone might say: “my husband and I separated because I felt that he was having an inappropriate relationship with someone at work. He denied this, but his behavior toward me had changed. We’ve been married for over 15 years and I know his behavior very well. I knew that something was wrong. When I tried to discuss this with him, it honestly made things worse and not better. So I felt it best if we took a little break. I honestly did not expect for the break to last for very long. But weeks would go by without us talking. I stayed with my aunt, who said I was welcome as long as I needed to be there. Very slowly, my husband started calling again and begging me to come home. I am not the kind of person who is going to cave in immediately, but I missed him so much that after a couple of weeks of his begging, I relented and came home. Right away, things were tense and awful. I expected a happy homecoming, but what actually happened was anything but that. We bickered constantly and it felt like he didn’t want me there. I finally started asking him what was wrong. At first he denied any problem, but I kept at him. He finally admitted that he has real feelings for the other woman at work, although he continues to deny any inappropriate relationship. I became so angry about this, that I packed my bag and went right back to my aunts. He isn’t me begging anymore. When I do talk to him, he’s in a hurry to get off the phone. Now I fear I’ve made a huge mistake. By leaving the way that I did, he’s now free to pursue a relationship with the other woman. Essentially, I gave her free reign to come and take my husband away if that is what she wants to do. Should I just come home unannounced? He didn’t ask me to leave. I did that on my own. My fear is that if I come home, things will be tense again.”

This is a tricky situation. And it happens quite a bit. These type of unfortunate situations are often why I encourage couples to seek counseling during their separation and to take things slowly. It is a little more difficult to fix this then it would have been to rebuild a foundation before attempting to reconcile. However, none of this is impossible. But because you perceive that the other woman is in the picture, you feel that you don’t have the luxury of time. One way to try to get around this is to attempt to schedule regular times to get together (preferably to seek counseling or at least work on your relationship.) If you feel that your husband won’t want to do counseling, then you might try just asking him to support you in sessions for yourself. This is a roundabout way to get him involved, with the hope that gradually as he becomes more comfortable. the counselor can incorporate the issue of your marriage. You might also get together for coffee or dinner afterwards, but at least this way, you are working toward something and are laying a foundation rather than just hoping for the best while not making any real changes.

If he doesn’t agree to this right away, just try to wait without pressure. Go back to what you did before when he was calling you regularly. If you had success being patient and staying upbeat before, then consider doing that once again.

I know you fear that he’s immediately going to start a relationship with another woman, but him admitting feelings for her doesn’t mean that he’s going to immediately pursue her. I’m not saying he can’t or won’t. I’m just saying that it’s better to wait and see (while reminding him that he’s married with regular contact and hopefully counseling) than to just assume the worst. She may not even be interested. He may be the one with all of the feelings.

If you feel like it’s important to address this, you might try a conversation like: ” I want you to know that I do regret just bailing immediately like that. I really wanted for the reconciliation to work, but when you admitted feelings about someone else, I reacted to the fear rather than to logic. I regret that. But it upset me so badly that I wasn’t really thinking. I was just reacting. I don’t want you to think that I am not interested in reconciling anymore because I am. I just have some real concerns that need to be addressed and I am not sure that either of us are qualified to do that alone. I would love it if we could either go to counseling together or at least you could go with me when I attend. It may or may not work, but if it doesn’t at least we will know that we tried. I don’t want to give up on this marriage, but neither of us are mental health or marital experts so I think it’s smart to get some help. I don’t want to continue on as we are. We both know that we miss one another, but we don’t seem to know how to move toward reconciliation successfully. How do you feel about this?”

Hopefully, he will agree. If not, I think it pays to be patient and to try not to panic. If you start pushing and panicking, you almost make it easier for the other woman (and that’s assuming that she shares his interest. We don’t know that she does. She may not want to become involved with him – even if he was willing.)

The hope is that eventually, he will miss you in the same way as he did the first time. But instead of rushing, you will now have the opportunity to build a new foundation and work some things out before taking the leap to move back in immediately.



Source by Leslie Cane

Life Is Cold, But The Consciousness Is Hot When Heated

Imagine this: Sure we use a denigrated ten percent of our brain power, but if one hundred percent of our brain were in use, that is when it all gets heated. Thus, the title of this article. Sure, Einstein was an amazing mind with his integrations to be sure, but compared to what I am writing about, riding on a beam of light in the imagination is a shadowy mustard seed type thought. I am thinking right now about the future, the far off future possibilities of mind and spiritual power.

Thinking about that, I remember this old Leslie Nielsen movie when he was a serious actor called “Forbidden Planet” where the instantly full use of the mind was portrayed, but at a great price, the negative part of the mental stature could not be controlled well. Sure, that gives me a thought that there is a place for everything, including gradual development over short cut quickness. In fact, my Dad Joe used to say that there were not any short cuts without a great price paid that makes the work even harder than it would have been if the short cuts were not taken and efforts were made straight through in a linear or normally developing way. In short, he actually said, “there are not any short cuts.” I guess that thought made me think of that old movie “Forbidden Planet” and its premise. If we bite off more than we can chew too quick, a greater price is paid than if we took it all normally and in time. I get it.

I also think of the Francis Bacon saying that “nature to be controlled, must be obeyed” in its full context also. Indeed, life is cold, but consciousness is hot when heated. As is also said, you cannot really beat God, but you can work with God in cooperation. I get it.

I have seen tortoise and the hare stories in this vein about this kind of thing that I mention here, and I say in that vein that God created the dirt, but the scientist can only use it and there is not really such a thing as “man made”, but when you think about it all of existence at the deepest levels is God made, really. It is like even the best musician trying to equal the natural song of the wind and nature, it cannot really be done except by God and nature itself. I get it.



Source by Joshua Clayton

My Ex Is Dating Someone Else But Still Talking to Me! Do They Still Love Me? – Find Out Today

When you come to know that your ex is dating someone else, it crashes all your hopes of being together one day. It is tough if you are still hurting from the break up, but you need to wake up and look at things with right perspective. The following will sort out your confusion, read on.

Your ex may be trying to make you jealous

Your ex may be dating someone but their feelings for you have not completely gone. They might be dating on rebound but if they are still in touch with you, it could mean that they do not want to remove themselves from your life.

You can give him/her benefit of doubt

In the above scenario you can give your ex a chance; if that’s what you want. You know them well; slowly you can start renewing contact with your ex and see how it works. If it works out fine; if not at least you tried and now you know that you can move on.

Leave your ex for some time

Being with other person will give your ex a new experience and may be it will help him sort out his/her feelings. Your ex may or may not come back to you. You need to protect yourself and stay away, this way your ex may realize that they have lost you..

Look at things in perspective

You have to consider the fact that your ex may be using you, maybe he is still friends with you with the hope that if things do not work out in the new relationship, they can always come back to you. Don’t let them take you for granted and take a stand, if you want your ex back and not the other way round.

Think objectively

The fact that you broke up and your ex has moved on and is dating someone else should tell you about your ex’s feelings for you. If your ex is talking to you, then ask yourself why he/she is dating the other person. You should not let you ex hurt you or the other person’s feelings.

Do not waste your time or feelings on your ex

You have two options, confront your ex and ask him/her to come clean about their feelings so that there is no ambiguity about it. Or take a bold stand; be strong to cut all ties with the ex as you cannot rely on them.

He/she is playing with you

If your ex was honest about their feelings they would not be dating someone else, so it is better to move on to save yourself the pain.



Source by Krista Hiles

Slowly But Steadily Increasing Demand for Animal Feed Additives

Feed additives are food supplements for farm animals, which fulfill the nutritional needs that are not met by regular meals. These include vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and fatty acids.

They are an essential part of the animal nutritional requirement. They enhance feed quality, and hence, improve animal health and productivity. Rising living standards and disposable income are increasing meat and dairy product consumption. Combined with that, the growing preference among livestock producers toward quality and nutrition is fueling the steady demand for feed additives.

Segmentation by type

The most important types are vitamins, minerals, amino acids, antioxidants, fatty acids, medications, and flavors & sweeteners. Vitamins and minerals improve weaning and conception rates, immunity, and overall health. Medications help livestock farmers to decrease the chances of animals becoming diseased.

Segmentation by region

The market is divided into various regions, i.e., America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, and Middle East & Africa. Asia-Pacific is considered to be the fastest-growing market, with China expected to be the global leader. EU has put forward stringent regulation and approval process, which may increase the manufacturing cost and hamper demand.

Increasing demand for improved quality of farm products amid rising living standards in countries, such as New Zealand, Portugal, and Iceland, is driving the growth of the global feed additive market. Increased awareness about the nutritional content of meat and other dairy products among consumers has prompted livestock farmers to provide better nutrition to the farm animals. These factors have led to a steady growth of the market.

However, conventional feeding methods, such as crop residue and grazing, still pose a threat to the feed additive market, owing to very low or zero costs associated. Further restraints include a ban on various medications in several countries and stringent regulations, as well as volatility, in prices of raw materials. Case in point is the EU Regulation 1831/2003, which states that all feed additives on the market within the European Union have to undergo a detailed approval process. Other markets are also expected to follow suit, according to the market intelligence firm.

Here is a list of some of the major market players:

– Adisseo France SAS

– BASF SE

– Danisco Animal Nutrition

– Novozymes

– Alltech Inc.

– Cargill Inc.

– Chr. Hansen

– Archer Daniels Midland Company

Various key developments are being witnessed in the feed additive industry.

– Biomin, the Austria-based animal feed additive manufacturer, opened a new production plant in Jiangsu, China.

– Olmix opened its first factory in Asia, with an annual production capacity of 15,000 metric ton of feed additive in Vietnam.

– Nutriad engaged in partnerships with Brazilian universities, with the aim to evaluate its product portfolio for tropical circumstances.



Source by Jagrati Mehndiratta

Three Strange But True Criminal Law Stories From Abroad

GERMANY: BUSTED! It has been reported that a professional’s well-endowed lover allegedly tried to kill him with her breasts. Allegedly his jealous girlfriend tried to smother him with her size 38DD bosoms because she said she wanted to make his death “as pleasant as possible,” authorities say. She was charged with attempted murder. This was in 2012.

This little report begs many a question. Was the attempted murder done in bed? Were the parties dressed or were they naked? Had the professional been unfaithful with some other woman beside his chesty lover? What was the motive for the attempted murder? Finally, since “malice” is required for every murder or attempted murder charge what facts herein show “malice” since she allegedly said she wanted to make his death “as pleasant as possible.” Such evidence sounds only like attempted manslaughter. There isn’t enough evidence of attempted murder here – still what a way to go…

ITALY: Sensuous Sun Screening? In 2011 a woman was arrested on an Italian topless beach for rubbing on sunscreen in “an overly sensuous manner.” Said violation was reported to police by a mother who had brought her two teenage sons to the beach. The mother was shocked by the other woman’s show of public sunscreen use and filed a lewdness complaint against the woman for an act of “extreme sensuality.”

This little report also requires some answers to pertinent questions from the Italian authorities about this incident: 1) why would a mother take not one, but two, teenage sons to a topless beach; 2) what distinguishes “sensuality” from “extreme sensuality;” finally, 3) when did “extreme sensuality” become a crime? Inquiring minds would like to know.

SWEDEN: We wonder what her husband had done to her? In 2012 a woman admitted stabbing her husband to death with a fillet knife she had received as a Christmas present from her employer. She contends that the stabbing was in self-defense. Swedish police said that after the attack on her husband, the victim, a 42-year-old, wrote a bizarre note to her boss stating, “Thank you for the Christmas gift… By the way it worked!”

The words in the note may have provided evidence of a conspiracy between the woman and her employer. A conspiracy is defined as an agreement, express or implied, between two or more people to commit an act that is illegal and at least one of the conspirators undertakes an overt act in furtherance of the conspiracy. Could this have been the case? Inquiring minds would like to know.



Source by Leonard Birdsong

He Broke Up With Me But Still Contacts Me

This is common. A man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship with you or he tells you he needs some space and wants to break up. After the break up though, he still calls you, texts you, emails and keeps in touch. It may be a simple “How are you?”. He may just contact you with random things, such as a forwarded joke or some information the he thinks you might value. You are thinking, he broke up with me but still contacts me, he must be having second thoughts.

Men keep in touch after a break up because for one, it eases their guilt. They really don’t enjoy hurting a woman. They feel bad, so they think they are making you feel better by calling and texting. The only one that feels better as a result of this is him. When they contact after a break up, it leaves you in limbo land as it gives you false hope that he still cares. If your boyfriend broke up with you, didn’t he give up these rights to contact?

He probably does still care, but not enough to get back together. He may have even told you he will always love you. He wasn’t lying, he may very well love you. He just doesn’t love you in the way he would love a romantic partner. The fact that he did love you in some form means that he will feel some pain.

This is exactly why he stays in contact. It’s a way to ease his pain. That’s all great, but all it does is prolong your pain. So by allowing him to stay in contact with you, you are agreeing to ease his pain and his transition back into the dating world. Trust me, he will be back in the dating world. This contact doesn’t do the same for you as you are still in love. His contact after a break up leaves you stuck and unable to move on.

They stay in contact also to see if you are still there. If they get lonely or bored, by staying in contact they feel it leaves the door open. They want to keep you on the back burner so to speak. They can pull you off when they are lonely or bored. If you just get a random text asking how you are or how is such and such, you can bet his is just checking your temperature to see if you are still there. It’s an ego boost for him and torture for you.

If my boyfriend broke up with me, I would think he made his bed, now he has to lay in it. I am not going to make the bed more comfortable for him. I am not going to ease his pain and transition. How about you?



Source by Robin Cockrell

"Negotiator – They Will Fight Back But Will They Conquer" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

He realized he’d be entering into a tough situation. In past interactions, verbal fights had broken out within this group. And tensions had frayed. Those frayed tensions led to increasing distrust amongst those discussing the proposed resolution.

Anticipating how someone might respond to an offer or proposal is something that you should always consider. Why? Because it impacts how you and they will interact. Thus, if you’ve had conflicts in the past, and nothing’s been done to address them satisfactorily, more than likely, they’ll fight you in the future.

The following is information you can use to plan, control, and dissuade others from attempting to conquer you. It’s a thought process that every good negotiator considers. And when someone fights to overcome your efforts, it’s insightful information that will arm you to combat them.

Planning


  • Fight/Flight/Stand Still
    • Before engaging in any forum, assess what occurred in prior encounters with its participating members. That history reflection will provide insights about the developments that might arise in your upcoming meeting with them. It also allows you the time to plan the actions and reactions you’ll promote to enhance your position.

In particular, consider whether you want the next encounter to end in a stalemate (you’re marking time to become stronger), you want the opposition to flee the potential conflict, recognizing your strength is too powerful for them to combat (be mindful of how you cast yourself – this may cause your opponents to seek greater power by building stronger coalitions), you’re going to fight for future positioning or as a means to get closer to its end.

  • Strategy
    • You should develop an approach based on what’s occurred in the past, the outcome that arose from using that plan, how those you engaged during that session reacted, and to what degree new players will enter into the upcoming activities. Taking into account those factors will allow you to shape the tactics you’ll develop to create and employ the best strategy.

  • Who are you
    • Another thought to consider is, who are you? That question answers the characteristics you possess. Some people can’t or won’t engage in some activities because it may be outside of their moral bearings. Having insight about your ethical boundaries will help you determine how far you’ll go to seek an outcome that may be crossing a line. Make the same assessment of those that you’ll be meeting.

Improvement


  • Interactions
    • Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t get what you wanted, and yet you still felt good about the outcome? Even if you haven’t had that experience, that’s the emotional state you want to instill in others that deal with you. Leave them feeling that they walked away with something that they’re proud to have achieved.

The way you accomplish that feeling lies in how you deal with people. In some situations, you don’t want to appear stubborn, dogmatic, or immobile. In the wrong condition, people will detest you. But in the right circumstances, such a demeanor will aid in fostering the persona needed to back those that pose threats away from you. So, be aware of how you project your persona and make sure it matches the outcome you’re seeking. Doing so will prevent future consternation that might impede future progress.

  • Framing
    • Framing occurs when you control the narrative of a conversation. And, by framing an interaction in a particular manner, you control the discussion and the flow of the communication.
    • Outcome – No matter the outcome, think about how you’ll frame it so that it appears to be beneficial to your position.
    • Opponents – Think about how you’ll frame the opponents that have engaged you during and after an interaction. You can position them in a positive or negative light, depending on how you wish others to view them. The choice you make should depend on how you want them to interact with you going forward.

  • Future Interactions
    • Other players – When considering how you’ll improve future situations, consider who might become aligned with whom. That’ll impact the chances of future success for you and them. There may exist the opportunity to use their alliances to your advantage.

Reflections

In answering the question, they will fight back but will they conquer, the answer is, it depends. It depends on the variables that you identify and address that will influence the outcome of a meeting – and how successful you are in developing a plan that accurately addresses those variables. The point is, you’ll have more control of any encounter if you plan for it appropriately. Once you do, you’ll be less likely to be conquered in your engagements… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at [email protected]

To receive Greg’s free “Negotiation Tip of the Week” and the “Sunday Negotiation Insight” click here http://www.themasternegotiator.com/greg-williams/

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Source by Greg Williams

Boost Your eBay Sales Using Simple, But Effective Approaches

eBay is amongst the best platforms you can choose to use to sell your products on. But considering that there are thousands of other sellers trying to attract sales just the same way you are then you are better off approaching it strategically so that you are able to boost your selling rates. If you want to attract more traffic to your listings, then you must get it right when packaging and presenting it to your targeted market.

Marketing is not always a cheap affair and it therefore makes more sense to optimize eBay business in such a way that you are able to attract traffic and increase sales. Fortunately, this is not that hard to achieve when you know and take care of all elements that really matter. A few simple but effective steps are all you need to take to start selling more on the platform.

Build and eBay identity – Branding is what you should be paying attention to so as to gain the trust of your customers. When you are able to successfully build a brand around your business on the platform, you will be in a position to enjoy return traffic, repeat business and also benefit from referrals. Be professional and consistent with your brand so your customers are able to remember you and trust you. You can consider developing a logo for your brand; a professional designer will help you create the most suitable for your business.

Let your username be sensible and professional – The last thing you want to do is choose a username that does not make any sense to the customers or one that is too long or complicated to remember. Keep the username relevant to what your brand is all about and let it be short and easy to remember and type to attract more traffic. If you make it too complicated then you risk losing traffic that would otherwise have led to a sale.

Let your branding be consistent throughout your eBay platform – The good thing about eBay is that the interface can be customized. You can therefore take full advantage of the opportunity to leave a mark. Take branding all the way across, listings, eBay shop, ends of auction email and even checkout and payment mode. The more consistent and spread it is, the better it will be for you to create a name that can be trusted.

Mind your listing template – Remember that you will be selling online where buyers do not have the luxury of touching and physically seeing the items that you are selling. For this matter, you must make it possible for them to understand the exact product you are selling them by providing every relevant detail about it. The more reassured your potential buyers are, the higher their chances of buying are, hence you should never leave anything out. Let your listing be made up of high quality pictures of every item you are selling, full description, including dimensions and features and any damage present, return policy, accepted payments and postage costs.



Source by Satvik Mittal

Long Distance Relationships Can Work – But You Can’t Be Lazy

Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

That quote should resonate within the mind and hearts of anyone currently involved in a long-distance relationship. Even if you are thinking about getting involved in one, that quote will save you a lot of time, which would have been wasted with doubts and uncertainties.

REPLACING THE MISCONCEPTION

This quote needs to replace the common mentality that “long distance relationships do not work” or even “long distance relationships are doomed from the start.”

With that type of misconception, it is no wonder why so many people seem to avoid this particular type of relationship all together. The problem is that the high number of failed long distance relationships seems to eclipse the growing number of long distance bonds that succeed.

The key to making sure that your long distance relationship succeeds is simple: hard work.

It takes hard work and consistent effort to keep the flame of a long-distance relationship burning brightly.

Yes, it is imperative to make regular visits in order to see each other whenever possible without making the other person feel smothered. However, that does not mean that you are off-the-clock when it comes to working on your relationship in between those face-to-face visits.

EVERYBODY NEEDS REASSURANCE

Your significant other is searching for the same thing that you are – reassurance. Reassurance that you still feel strongly about them. Reassurance that you are just as involved in making the relationship work as they are right now. Reassurance that you are going to do everything you can to make it work – regardless of the odds that claim it’s improbable.

Therefore, you need to put in the time, effort and hard work necessary to provide that reassurance on all levels. Why? Three reasons.

1) Law of Reciprocity: If you do it, chances are that he/she will reciprocate your efforts to provide you with the same level of reassurance.

2) Value, Value, Value: Who doesn’t want to feel valued and appreciated? Putting in the time and effort to make your relationship work – despite the physical distance that separates you two – will add value to your bond and make your significant other feel valued at the same time. At the end of the day, isn’t that what you want?

3) True Love is Cultivated over Time: A long distance relationship shares a major similarity with a short-distance relationship: true love needs time to develop. An unknown person once said that “true love doesn’t mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes.” This essentially goes back to reassurance – making sure that you and your significant other remain on the same page.

THE BOTTOM LINE

There is nothing wrong with having a long-distance relationship. Although a high number of these bonds crash and burn, there are still quite a few that are still flying high in the clouds of love. The difference between crashing and flying is amount of hard work that you put into keeping your relationship off of the ground.



Source by Glenn Hadley

Can Periodontal Disease Be Cured? But Don’t Let It Happen To You

What is the answer to the question can periodontal disease be cured? It’s unbelievable that lot of people don’t pay attention to the warning signs that periodontal disease could be waiting in the wings.

This article will help you prepare yourself so that it won’t happen to you. So is there a cure for this condition? It’s possible but that will depend on you.

You should pay attention to these periodontal disease stages.

Let me ask you an important question. Have you been noticing your gums bleeding lately while you are brushing your teeth? You may probably just write this off as just brushing to hard.

Actually it is probably because you haven’t been brushing enough that is causing your gums to bleed.

You may want to start considering that you have a problem developing and that could be periodontal disease.

Taking this into account when you look in the mirror have you begun to notice the fact that your teeth appear longer? This may come as a shock but your gums may be receding.

Also additional symptoms such as consistent bad breath and loose teeth could be other factors that you may be developing this potentially serious dental condition.

Is periodontal disease curable?

Well that’s the big question. Hopefully you are in the beginning stages and in that case it is probably curable. I hope you are not thinking I can just wait this out and it will go away. If you don’t do something about it you may lose some of your teeth.

Think about this. As the periodontal disease progresses and your gums start pulling away from your teeth it causes little pockets where those harmful bacteria can get in.

The problem with this is it can cause the connective tissue that holds your teeth in place to become weakened.

Well knowing all of this you should get right in to see your dentist. But if you are to far down the road with the periodontal disease you will be referred to a specialist called a periodontist.

You are probably thinking hold on here every time I go see a specialist something unanticipated happens and things are going to get expensive. If you are like me there is not a lot of extra money lying around to pay for expensive dental work.

What can you expect from advanced periodontal disease treatment?

As likely as not what you can expect from this visit is a deeper cleaning than you first received at your dentist. They will actually clean both above and below the gum line.

But what if this doesn’t work? This is when things can start to get a little more serious and expensive for you. Why is this? You are going to have to have another procedure.

In the next procedure your gums will actually be pulled back to remove the deep tarter and bacteria. Sometimes the gums will need sutures to put them back in place properly.

Yes this sounds pretty awful but better to go through this now than to lose your teeth. Things could only snowball from here. If you lose your teeth your next step may be dentures and think about how expensive that would be.

Are you beginning to see that treatment for periodontal disease could be expensive?

As we mentioned earlier going to see a specialist for a dental problem can get very expensive. You maybe OK financially to where you will have no difficulty in paying for this type of procedure. Hopefully you may even have dental insurance that can help pay for your dental visits.

If you’re like some people you have been thinking about going to the dentist for a long time but just don’t have the money at this time to go on a regular basis.

If this is you continue reading as I have a really good affordable option to discuss with you that will allow you to go to the dentist regularly.



Source by Ivy Creel