Winning back your boyfriend after a break up is not cut and dry. It requires a discrete plan coupled with strategic moves. However, before making any moves, you need to be in a position of power first. If you’re not, every move will be met with resistance and your efforts will be wasted. And what’s worse is that your ex won’t have any respect for you.
It’s crucial that every move you make is done from a position of power. Have confidence in both your actions and your words. Let it speak for who you are and what you want. It’s important to note here that with the breakup, your boyfriend effectively owns the relationship between you two. In doing so, he’s in a position of power where you are not. The deck is stacked against you… and as long as that’s the case, you’ll never get the upper hand.
Reclaiming Your Position
This is fundamental in getting him back. What you really want to accomplish here is to change his mind set about how he sees you. It’s important that he sees you as someone worth dating and not just an ex. Get him to see you as his equal instead of something to be controlled.
I don’t doubt that right now you’re asking yourself the question: “How do I get back control of a relationship that’s over?”
In reality it’s not possible. However, what you can do this instant is take a little control away from your ex by getting his attention.
After the breakup your boyfriend’s going to see you in a certain light and it won’t be good so you need to change that as soon as possible. His mind is going to be made up unless you change it for him. Luckily for you there are several ways to get your ex to notice you again and at the same time realize he made a mistake by breaking up with you.
Understanding these methods and how they work will put you on the right track to getting him back.
Knowing Why You Want Him Back Will Help You Get Him Back
Do you know why you want to get back together?
If you haven’t already asked yourself that question, now’s a good time to do it. Is it because you love him? Do you miss him? I’ll bet the reason you want him back is less complicated than you think. It’s because he rejected you.
Take a moment to think about that.
I’m almost certain that your immediate reaction to the breakup was to try and keep the relationship alive. But did you stop and really think about it? Maybe you’re better off apart? The mistake you made here was that your response to the breakup was natural but reflexive and defensive.
It’s normal and natural to want to be loved, but at the same time it’s also normal and natural to want what we can’t have. The instant the relationship was over was the instant you wanted to be loved by him but also wanted what you could no longer have.
But you know something he doesn’t. The door swings both ways. This is great for you because you can make your ex want you back with this tiny little trick.
Inside The Mind of Your Ex Boyfriend
“When I know a girl wants me back, I’m not interested in her at all. The fact that she’s still chasing me is a reminder why I broke it off.”
“But something strange happens when she stops chasing me. She becomes instantly attractive again. Not being able to have her anymore makes you do a total 180 from when you could have her any time you wanted.”
In order to shift the balance of power between you and your ex, the first step is for you to stop blaming yourself and seeing yourself as a victim. You might not see it in the mirror right away, but you’re strong, confident and have something valuable to offer… harness this confidence in yourself because it’s the key to getting him back.
The other thing you need to do is to change your mind set about the “control” your boyfriend has. Even though he’s the one who ended it, he doesn’t have total control over what you do next. There are things you can do that will influence the way he sees you. And the sooner you start working on yourself and make personal adjustments, the sooner he’ll take notice of you.
Finally, don’t obsess over the break up. So your boyfriend broke up with you… it happens every day to women around the world. This doesn’t give you a license to go around and throw a pity party for yourself. I suggest you go back and re-read the part about seeing the break up through your boyfriend’s eyes. Crying, begging and chasing after him won’t get it done. As you work to restore your confidence, your actions and your words will follow suit and your boyfriend WILL notice you.
Turning the Tables on Your Ex by Rejecting Him
What you want to accomplish here is to make it seem like you’re no longer interested in your ex. Up to this point, this is the exact opposite of what you’ve been doing, but I guarantee that as soon as you put the brakes on and stop chasing him he’s going to start worrying.
This simple yet effective ploy will make it so your ex can’t get you out of his head. You might not think that he’s all that interested in what you’re currently up to, but you’d be surprised how fast and effective this is.
Since your ex is the one who broke things off and you’ve been chasing him, he knows he can have you back at his convenience. This puts him in a position of power like I talked about before because it allows him to do whatever he wants during the break up.
However, when you start doing your own thing something magical happens. You’re ex has to face the reality that he could lose you. What’s even better is that “breaking up” with your ex puts him on the receiving end of the rejection. Now I understand that you’re not technically dating, but when you take the initiative and start doing you own thing, you put yourself in a position of power.
In the beginning, your ex broke it off. But now you’ve turned the tables on him. This is an integral part to getting your boyfriend back because he now has to analyze a relationship that might be lost forever. If you haven’t guessed it by now, you’re making your ex want you by not wanting him.