If you are dating a guy and when you are together, everything is just great. The chemistry is out the roof and what a connection. Does he feel it too? He hasn’t mentioned being exclusive and you are wondering if you should date anyone else. You wonder if he is dating anyone else. You don’t want to, but you are scared to bring up the talk for fear of scaring him off. Still you don’t know how he feels or where you stand.
Then there is the time when you are not together. He may text or call a couple times a week. If you are lucky you get a date with him once a week and usually end up sleeping together. Still though, he hasn’t mentioned that you are a couple or you are his girl. You have no clue how he really feels because he hasn’t told you. You don’t know where you stand with this guy.
A man who sleeps with you once a week, maybe calls or texts a couple times, and goes silent for days does not see you as his girlfriend. If he did, he would be saving the weekends for you, introducing you to his family and friends and including you in his everyday life. You would know what goes on in his life when he isn’t with you because he would be calling you everyday to tell you.
You may be thinking, but this guy led me on. He led me to believe we had something. This is not true. He hasn’t led you on more than likely. His behavior is his way of protecting you from attaching to him. Guys do it, girls do it to. Put the shoe on the other foot. Have you ever had a guy into you that maybe you liked but did not see as long term. Maybe you kept dating him, but kept him at a distance. Maybe you didn’t answer all his calls or return them right away. Maybe you just did a slow fade. Maybe you keep seeing him to see if something will grow.
Are you trying to hurt him? Are you a commitment phobic? Are you lying to him? No of course you aren’t. You just aren’t feeling it. If you were, you would act a completely different way. He would not be wondering where he stands, which he probably is if you are doing the slow fade in and out.
If you don’t know where you stand with a man, watch his actions and not on the date. Watch how he acts after the date in the next few days. If he is not calling you to say he had a good time and set up another date, there is a good chance he is keeping a balance to keep you around, he likes sleeping with you too, don’t forget that. He keeps the distance there to keep you from falling for him.
He pops back in now and then because you are his option, until something better comes along that is. Again you go out, the attraction is strong and you hold onto that hoping he will see the light. It rarely happens, the pattern continues. Eventually he becomes one of the many men that disappears. If you can’t figure out where you stand with a man, you can pretty much bet, you don’t really stand anywhere special.