Getting Him to Open Up – How to Get Through to an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Men and women are undeniably different in a variety of ways. We learn that very early in life when we face conflict with the boys we date in middle and high schools. Men, of all ages, tend to keep their feelings very close to the vest. They aren’t as quick to divulge what they’re feeling and they often will work hard to try to work through any conflict that they feel on their own. To men, this may be viewed as a manly way to handle emotions but to women it’s not. It inevitably results in men that are emotionally unavailable and distant. Trying to meander through a relationship with a man like this is never an easy task. You become flustered and frustrated very easily when you’re trying to determine exactly what your man feels for you and what’s going through his mind. Relationships don’t have to be this complicated. You can get him to open up to you in a way that makes him feel safe and nurtured. Imagine having a connection with the man you adore that is honest, open and mutually satisfying? It’s definitely within your grasp if you understand the key steps you need to take to help awaken his inner core and get him to share it with you.

Understand That Your Man Needs Certain Things to Feel Emotionally Safe

Men, in general, don’t enjoy feeling vulnerable. They will do almost anything it takes to avoid that feeling. That’s why when a woman confronts a man about his deepest feelings and desires, he’ll often retreat. He’ll say things about not wanting to talk about it, or he loves you and what else is there to talk about. If you push a man to talk in a way that makes him feel stripped or cornered, he’ll shut down. He needs to feel emotionally safe before he can bare his innermost feelings.

You can create a closer bond which in turn will make him more willing to open up. Be clear with him that he is the man for you. If you’re the type of woman who plays games with a man in an effort to get him to fall deeper in love or to get him to proclaim his undying love, you’re never truly going to get him to share with you. You have to be painfully honest with him about your feelings. Don’t go on and on about how deeply you love him. Simply state in a very clear, concise and honest way that he’s the man you care for and there’s no competition for your adoration in your life. In other words, you’re not interested in other men. It’s just him in your eyes.

Also, it’s incredibly important that you make certain that your man feels completely and unequivocally accepted by you for the person he is. If you’re constantly trying to change something about him, he’s not going to be as willing to share anything personal in an emotional sense with you. He’ll feel judged on a continual basis and that’s not a recipe for a happy, healthy and loving bond.

Don’t Rush Him Into Opening Up Emotionally

One of the crucial mistakes that many women make in their quest to bond emotionally with their man is they push him to share what he’s feeling too soon. Men like to do things on their own timetables and that’s especially true in a relationship sense.

If you repeatedly tell him that you believe you two need to talk about your feelings and he doesn’t open up during any of these conversations, that’s a good indicator that now is not the time to continue to push. Let it go for awhile. Focus on the fun that you two have and not on where the relationship is headed.

A man is much more willing to open himself up emotionally if he doesn’t feel threatened or coerced into it. Many women who have been in the same position as you will tell you that when they stopped asking their man what he was feeling, he started sharing.

He wants to believe the idea of being more transparent is coming from within him, so allow that to happen. Take each day as it comes and give him the emotional room he needs to feel safe and secure in the relationship with you. Once that happens, and he feels confident in your unwavering devotion to him, he’ll feel much better about showing all his emotional cards to you.

Don’t Push for More Than He’s Giving

Once your man does take a step towards sharing more of his innermost feelings, be as accepting as you possibly can. It’s not uncommon for a woman to want to rush the relationship into the next phase. If you do this, you’re going to risk him pulling back or worse yet, taking off for good.

Although you may feel that the relationship is at a point where you want to say to your man that you’re ready to settle down and start a life together, he may just be inching towards telling you that he loves you more than he’s ever loved any woman. Once he does share that, cherish it. Don’t push him to devote himself to you for the rest of his life. Accept and embrace what he can give, when he can give it. If you do that, he’ll feel a drive to get closer and closer to you.

Source by Gillian Reynolds