It’s taken a while, but you’ve discovered the person of your dreams. Or more to the point, you realized that the person of your dreams was someone you had been dating. With this realization, you’ve decided to try to win back your ex back, even though it’s been six months since you broke things off. That’s still possible, right?
Well, yes, but it’s going to be difficult. It’s a tough task to woo a stranger, but adding history with that person can complicate things enormously. If you are going to reconnect, you’re going to need to follow several steps:
Optimize Your Personal Situation: When you reconnect, you’re going to want to be at your best. Make sure you get in good physical shape, get some nice clothes, maybe a new haircut; you want your ex to see you as the best possible option for them, to make an excellent case for yourself. Ideally, the six months you had since the relationship have been good to you, but even if that’s not the case, you want to make sure you put on your best face; if you look like you spent your time apart crying over them into a bowl of ice cream, you’ll have no chance.
Re-Contact Your Ex: You should have some way to contact the person you broke up with, via phone, email, or even a letter. Given the current state of communication, the best method to use is probably a text message. They are common, personal, but not too intimate, and allow you and your ex some time between messages to think and reflect, keeping things from getting too heated and bringing up old tensions too soon.
Start Carefully: You don’t want to push too hard when first reconnecting. You’ll need to start carefully and slowly working towards actual real-life dates. Depending on your gender and the nature of your previous relationship, you might be the one to ask for the first (new) date, or you may want to wait for your ex to make the move. Which method is best is something a bit beyond the scope of this article.
Build Up Momentum Slowly: Once you’ve started the in-person dating, you’ve going to want to keep things moving along as best you can. The more dates you can go on and the closer you get to your ex, the better your chances for a successful new relationship. Hopefully you can still connect; it’s tricky with anyone, although you do have the advantage of knowing more about your ex than you would about a stranger. Although, with those connections come some difficulties; you need to be sure that you:
Acknowledge Past Problems: There must be some reason your relationship ended in the first place; you need to get past that in order for things to work. When to bring this up is obviously a big question, one whose answer depends greatly on what broke up the relationship in the first place. It could require a great amount of effort to find an ideal time to bring things up. Don’t try to hide it, though; anything potent enough to break up a relationship is sure to arise at some point. Better to confront things head on than to try to hide it; your ex will think better of you for it.
Expect A Rocky Start: Things won’t be easy at first, and it might take a while before your relationship reaches a fully recovered level. Don’t lose hope! If you are truly meant to be with this person, you’ll make it through the troubled times and end up in an even stronger relationship than you had before.