I just found out that my husband is cheating and I’m scared, confused and unsure what to do now that I know. Are these the thoughts you have running through your head now that you have discovered that your husband has been having an affair? Unfortunately, you are not alone but there are some steps you can take to recover from his adulterous behavior.
My husband is cheating is something no woman really wants to have to deal with because there is so much pain involved. For many women they feel rejected, unworthy and unattractive once they find out that their husband has been unfaithful. They also feel trapped if their husband is the money-maker and provides the basic necessities of life e.g., food, clothing, shelter and other stuff.
Once you are convinced that your husband is cheating my thought is that you have to confront him about. There is no doubt in my mind that you will end up confronting him about it, whether you choose to do so or not. If you don’t interrupt his affair, I assure you that it will continue and at some point he will probably confront you with divorce papers.
My Husband Is Cheating – How To Confront Him
First I would recommend that you go through your evidence and re-assure yourself that what you have discovered is in-fact what you believe it is. You don’t have to be 100% sure but you don’t want to make false accusations that leads to a division between you based on a feeling you have. I just want you to be confident and not be easily persuaded that you are wrong. You also don’t want to tip your husband off and help him cover up his affair before you hash things out.
Next, I would suggest that you work out how you will confront your husband regarding his cheating. To do this, write down what you want to discuss with him and rehearse how you want the conversation to go. For example, do you want to talk about the most convincing evidence first and give him no chance to try to wiggle his way out of confessing? Perhaps, you are like some other women who say “if my husband is cheating I want him to come clean, without me making him do so”. In this case you would bring up the subject and see if he lies about it or humbles himself and admits to the cheating.
Once you figure out how you would like the conversation to take place, I would arrange a quite time where just you and your husband are present. I would not recommend having the discussion when kids or others are present because you never can predict how the discussion will go.
However, if your husband is abusive, physically or verbally and you are afraid, you might need to have this conversation with a close friend or relative nearby. Your safety must be taken into consideration, even though you are not the one who is cheating.
It’s important that you maintain control of your emotions during the conversation so make sure you are physically and emotionally ready to talk about it. Please remember that you have done nothing wrong here so don’t be fearful of bringing it up.
If you are ready to discuss the cheating by your husband then simply speak from your heart and let him know what you have found. Again, refer to the notes or journal you created where you documented your findings. Communicate this to him calmly and with conviction. Let the conversation play itself out and if you did your research properly a confession should be forthcoming.
My Husband Is Cheating and Confessed, Now What?
Please note that what you have done or are about to do is the start of a new life for you and your cheating husband. You have an opportunity before you to restore, rebuild and renew your marriage and relationship if you want to.
Dealing with a cheating spouse and learning how to forgive, love and trust again is not easy but it is possible. The key is making sure you both understand where you are and what it takes to get healing.
For some couples, marital counseling is an effective way to deal with infidelity. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for all couples, especially if both persons aren’t ready to deal with the deep issues that surround the affair.